God, Sex, & the FBI: Adrian Lamo's (alleged) blog

• 00:14 I'll thank nmap to not wish itself happy bday. Sense of time leads to sense of self which leads invariably to doom & finding Sarah Connor. #
• 09:50 @GeorgeVHulme It is plan fact that Tovarich Yevloyev was shot while trying assault a bullet with his deadly deadly head. So, natural causes. #
• 11:57 Attn. Clancy fetishists: Putin rescue of TVnewz crew from vicious tiger in no way metaphorical; man simply has plan for dealing /w the teeth #
• 14:35 R. Adrián is janitor to the gods. tinyurl.com/6bmgep #
• 16:04 R. Adrián *unable to move until the cat wakes up. help!*. tinyurl.com/69kkkj #
• 20:27 @skram well, do you? #
• 22:05 (via fbook) R. Adrián applied to be a ChaCha guide, likes the idea of a world where random querents might get him working on .. #

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For purposes of addressing questions raised on and in re. Wikipedia, I confirm that I'm married to Lauren Lamo (née Robinson) as of 09-2007. We met as a direct result of Jenn Kahn's 2004 Wired coverage of various facts and fictions associated with my life. Wired may direct congratulations for the lucky couple to my address of record.

For those non-Wikipedians, something isn't true on Wikipedia unless it's stated in some third-party source, even if it's stated on Wikipedia by the third-party source (to avoid self-reference). Blogs of biographically covered living persons are accepted as sources, so in a wacky indirect way, this is what I have to do in order for our union to transcend physical reality into Internet reality. Go figure.

I think I explained all that the last time I did this (Wiki-truth, not marriage), but a refresher never hurts.

It's been roughly a year since I posted to this space. My last post was in re. my successful legal challenge in USA v. LAMO, preventing the FBI from taking my blood. Since that time, despite occasional Livejournal posts, I've had little to say to the world outside of a small circle of friends.

I still don't have the time or the will to provide a running narrative of my life, but I think I'll be in this space more often. Though I initially created this as a test account, Google Blog Search believes it's relevant to me, and who am I to argue in the face of that kind of authority? As such, I guess the joke's on me: It's my blog after all.

Running with that, I'm happy to be able to say that it looks like a final version of the film once known as "Untitled Hacker Documentary: The 'Homeless' Hacker Adrian Lamo", then as "Can You Hack It?", and now more definitively as "Hackers Wanted" has moved into the final stages of production.

It's been dead and alive more times than Elvis, but in the end, like the history of hacking & innovation, it has a life beyond its borders. If Hackers Wanted were a houseplant it would be dead, if it were a child any court would transfer custody from the producer to the director for intentional neglect, but the fact that it's a finished product speaks for itself. It can no longer disappear into some creative memory hole, or compete with Tiefland for its Guinness entry.

All that's left is for Trigger Street to figure out how to sell movies. How long could that take?

As of 0-dark-30 this morning, Kevin Lee Poulsen's THREAT LEVEL blog is reporting that I've apparently won my bid to keep my blood to myself.

In a court filing 13 months ago, federal prosecutors (in conjunction with the U.S. Probation Dept) had filed a probation violation petition with the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California, a judicial district which I happen to call home. The violation alleged that I had committed new crimes while on supervision by failing to comply with the lawful directives of my assigned U.S. probation officer.

These directives included mandatory submission of a DNA sample to the FBI. Presumably speaking from within their heavily armed compound, this federalist group asserted that they had no means at their disposal to process any sample other than blood, countless agonizingly blue-lit seasons of CSI notwithstanding.

I asked myself -- what would that level 90 jurist Anton Scalia do? Make sure that life imitated the tee-vee, of course. If the FBI couldn't process blood, surely it was only due to lack of good screenwriters.

If you, constant reader (of all two of my previous posts), can forgive me for waxing serious for just a graf or two, this posed a real issue for me. When I left federal court in 2004 following my sentencing, I had affirmed that I never wanted to walk in the doors of a courthouse as a defendant again. I've never been one to hit others over the head with my religious beliefs. I think faith is an intensely personal subject. I dislike evangelists. But the .us .gov had brought this issue to my doorstep, not vice-versa.

And as I stood in the probation office, watching the waiting phlebotomist call out subjects one by one, I knew that if I stood by and complied against the better judgment of my conscience, I'd regret it longer than any court case could last.

From there, it took 13 months for the judicial system to accomplish something that basically could
have been done in five minutes & a handshake. I knew from the get-go that some people might think my argument was frivolous, goofy, maybe even a bit Heckenkampy. Nevertheless, it was an argument I had no compunctions about making.

Now, 13 months after the violation petition, three years after my sentencing, and five years after my original offense, it looks like my trek through the judicial process is over.

Once again, life is full of possibilities.

Once again proving that Albanians are fucking ninjas, the sharp-eyed will notice, circa the 0:56 mark, some lover of fine timepieces tug the venerable Watch of POTUS straight off of GWB's wrist. In front of God, the U.S. Secret Service, and everyone.

Now, it's tempting to bash the USSS for letting the Commander-In-Chief get pickwristed by the teeming millions, but I suspect this was more of a judgment call on their part. *Someone* must have noticed, but correctly assumed that chasing down some Albanian street urchin in that crowd was more bad press than it was worth.

The more pressing issue remains -- when can we expect to see this watch on eBay?

A pair of editors have asked me for clarification in re. some information for the EN and PL Wikipedias, respectively.

Now, Wikipedia is a bit goofy about what they consider to be a source (WP:SPS, WP:NOR, WP:SELF), but more or less, rather than answering their questions directly on Wikipedia (which wouldn't quite jibe with policy as it would be original research & self-reference) I'm writing it here, by which it automagically becomes citable and credible.

== Sexuality ==
I know this is completely private but you are listed on [[List of gay, lesbian or bisexual people/K-O]]. Could you please confirm this? I am writting similar list in polish wikipedia. Greetings!--[[User:Plywak|Plywak]] 18:14, 4 March 2007 (UTC)

:: For the sake of simplicity, let's say I'm bisexual, although I affirmatively believe that this is too linear a term.

== Verifying ==

It says in the trivia section that you hacked NBC in 12 minutes. Was it a thorough, superuser breach? Did it even happen? What exploit (if it's already fixed) was it? Just consulting the primary source. [[User:-Slash-|{Slash]][[Special:Contributions/-Slash-|-|-]][[User talk:-Slash-|Talk}]] 07:29, 2 March 2007 (UTC)

:: At this time, I am only answering questions about 1970's hairstyles.

Lest Wikipedia run out of things to attribute to me, I call upon Jimmy Wales to limit Essjay to no more than 10 pseudonymous Wikipedia identities, "Can You Hack It?" will be out in 2007 even if I have to sell it on street corners, and everyone should check out Patrick Gray's /<-rad podcast, Risky Business, at ITRadio.com.au.

Godspeed & Wiki♥! :)

This is *so* not my blog. Vox lies!